Selfish Sacrifice
by Nomigi
Summary: Kikyo is very confused. Like everyone else but to get what she wants will she give up everything that she has?


Selfish Sacrifice  
  
Chapter One: The Temple  
  
Tears formed in her eyes as she thought of him. Everything she loved, yet also everything she hated. He was comprised of all of that and more. She tried not to hate, she believed that hating was a compliment, not as good as love but it showed someone that you cared enough to hate. Yet if you thought nothing of someone it was if they weren't even good enough to care about. Almost as if they an untouchable to that person like she was one of the Brahmans. It was really her fault that she was in this so-called relationship. The intention has almost been reached but it took all too long for her. She hated herself for it; she should've told him sooner that it was tearing up her very being. Nothing too ecstatic for him probably. It was a game right? The trial and error sort. Everyone played it, just nobody except her thought about it. Or if they did think of it they never actually told their feelings to anyone. It's the major rule in society: If you stay quiet and never tell a soul of what you are think then, you're safe...right? Though if you didn't want to live in a world like that you give up your over-all popularity and then you get less friends but they understand you all the more. Did real people actually do that? How do you, a goddess in everyone's eyes, do that. Give it all away. Everything you have. Buddha did. But she didn't think that she could. Slowly she would reach her goal. She would never again be pushed into something again.  
  
Two hours later...  
  
"Shut up!" He screamed at her. "No! I shouldn't have to." "You're my girlfriend and if I tell you to you obey." Tears started to form. But she knew she had to be strong. "Not anymore! I will not give into this anymore. I hate you because I love you, but...I can't do this anymore. We're through." Kikyo turned away from him and started to walk away. "You slut! Who do you think will take you now? You're used goods!" Kikyo stopped and turned to face him. She was almost at the end of the alley. "Naraku you have no idea how much I am wanted." Kikyo just kept walking after that in no particular direction just away from the alley were she could hear the relentless screams of her name coming from.  
  
I'm sure that the heart I left behind  
Still lies hidden in the heart of the  
deep, deep forest  
  
Kikyo sat at the kitchen table and next morning eating some rice when her sister came down. "Oh Kikyo, where were you last night? You did not come home," The little girl sat down across from her. "Mom and dad were worried." Kikyo cringed "Kaede, you and I both know they didn't notice. They probably didn't come home themselves. They most likely have and apartment in Kyoto or Osaka where they, just themselves, live." Kikyo felt nothing for her foster parents. Well they weren't both foster parents just the mother was. She did keep their father in check though. No drinking or gambling near her, just sex.  
  
Kaede sighed. "If not for them do it for me. I would appreciate it sometimes. Even just a 2 second call." Kikyo stood up and walked to the door. "I've got to get going. I will be back late." Kikyo put her shoes on and exited the house. Kikyo had no real destination. She just wanted to escape. No. She needed to. She couldn't stand to see her sister like that, while the only thing she could do was just walk away from it. Her sister couldn't. During her little walk she passed a Shinto shrine. As a little kid she always wanted to go there. "Well, what have I got to lose?" She started to walk up those hundreds of steps. "Wow I don't know anybody who could do this every day..." she huffed as she reached the top.  
  
Exhausted, without the strength to search  
people vanish into the infinite darkness.  
If it's so small,  
I wonder if I can see it even now?  
  
The teenager was in awe of the whole place. It was just like you'd see in those stupid history books in class. It looked so...traditional. Everything but the house with the satellite. But still this is one of the only beautiful things in this wretched city. Gigantic trees, old style brooms lay against the little shed, and that arch she was now standing under. "Ano...Demo excuse me. Are you looking for something?" A girl asked with raven hair like hers pulled back into a ponytail. She wore a red shrine maiden's outfit and held a broom.  
  
"Oh. I am sorry I just always wanted to visit the shrine. I am Kikyo." She bowed as she said her name. "In that case I will show you around. I am Kagome," Kagome bowed to for respect. "This is a very small shrine but it is one of the only ones left in Tokyo. It been passed down for generations. It's Higurashi shrine." The name flashed something into Kikyo's memory but she quickly shook it off. "I saw that look. I think you probably heard about the legend of the Shikon No Tama. Just about everyone who comes here asks about it. Am I right?" Kagome looked into Kikyo's eyes and stopped walking. "Yeah you are. I am familiar with it too. You know that's not something that happens everywhere."  
  
They finished the tour a little sooner than Kikyo had hoped she really didn't want to leave. She really didn't have anywhere else to go. "Some um Kagome. Do you want to get some coffee with me or something?" Kagome thought about it for a while. "Sure why not? Their not going to miss me if I step out for a little while. Or I could say you needed help finding your house, you could've just moved here." Kagome smiled. "Hey, don't get me confused with those baka otaku's who only dream of coming here with live their own Shojo manga." As they were walking down the steps Kikyo looked at her watch it was only half past one. "Hey Kagome, how do you climb up and down these steps everyday?" Kagome shook her head and smiled. "You just have to build up your endurance. But even with mine I am still begging my mom to install an elevator. Not traditional but very worthwhile." They both laughed as they finally reached the sidewalk.  
  
As we live on,  
we lose a little bit more.  
Shrouded in falsehoods and lies,  
we stand frozen to the spot, unable to cry out  
  
They ordered their coffee's and sat down at the table in the very corner. Trying to escape people that she knew. Mostly Naraku's friends who hopefully didn't hear about their little bitty earthshaking fight. Everyone at school thought them to be the perfect match. If only they knew the E! True Hollywood Story about it. Their life at school was about as fake as Anna Nicole's dietitian. No matter how much she gained it was still apart of her master plan by this man to make her lose triple of it. They talked for hours until Kagome decided she really had to get home before she caught a cold. Kagome was one of those kids who didn't get left back because of grades but because of her cold prone self. Even if she did all her homework she still needed to attend class sometimes. So Kikyo let her go and started to wonder.  
  
She went to the park. *'The park was a monument to human filth, to people's worst impulses: to the desire to kill, to rape, to hustle, to poison one another's bodies with drugs.' Kikyo had realized this when she was young and her parents were no were to be found in this forsaken place but out of the kindness of someone's heart they protected her. It was a little boy, just about her age. Thou after that night she couldn't find him, she hadn't even gotten his name. She felt so close to him even though they hadn't even talked for eight of so years or properly introduced. It felt so stupid even Disney would turn it down in their own right mind as a movie idea.  
  
*- Excerpt from Fearless: Liar by Francine Pascal  
  
Not to make fun of you fellow otakus I just think that sometimes people are just too obsessive over several things oh such as...Manga. ::Ducks:: Please don't throw things. 


End file.
